| | I have been sick for so long and no one can figure out what it is. it is 5:04 am and I have spent the entire night looking into a bowl trying my hardest to loose what little I had for dinner this night. I dont get it I mean wasnt it enough that I got abused as a kid by my mother and by my classmates. What the heck did I do to deserve this torture? I am tired of always being the one who is weak of always being the one who cant do anything. I want to be well again, I want to be able to date again. To feel the warmth of a mans arms around me or the taste of a womans lips. I miss that and dammit I need love. It would be easier if I just knew what was wrong I dont care if I am dieing I just want to know one way or another. I tried taking a pain pill today it was prescribed for me a while ago and I hoped it would work but it made it ten times worse. I am a fanfic writer as well as a science fiction/horror writer but everytime I get sick I cant seem to work on it. My head is so fuzzy at times I feel like I am not here at all. If there is a god out there he hates me, my goddess Isis I know that she is busy and I pray to her that somehow someway things will work out. This time the pain is different and so maybe just maybe they will find something. This week I am getting some tests and also seeing a couple more doctors so whoever reads this wish me luck, | comments: Leave a comment   |
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bluephoenixes's journal
sick